Sitting With Grief: A Journey to Healing From Within

For the first time in my life, I’m sitting with my grief, really sitting with it. Not running, not distracting myself, not pretending it isn’t there. And let me tell you, it hurts. It’s heavy and consuming, like there’s a hole in my heart that I’ve been desperately trying to fill. But nothing I’ve reached for—no person, no distraction, no achievement—has worked. Because nothing outside of myself ever could. The truth is, the healing I need has to come from within.

I spent years lost in an endless cycle of overthinking and overanalyzing. I would replay situations in my mind, dissect every word, every interaction, trying to understand why I wasn’t enough. Why they didn’t choose me. Why I wasn’t wanted. Focusing on the “why” felt easier than confronting my own pain. It gave me something to do, somewhere to direct my energy. But in reality, I was just running—from the discomfort, from the emptiness, from myself.

Now that I’ve stopped running, the grief is here, and it’s overwhelming. I don’t know what to do with myself. It feels like the pain has been building for years, and now I’m finally letting it surface. It’s raw. It’s unrelenting. And it’s a reminder of just how much I’ve been carrying.

For a long time, I blamed other people for my hurt—for the void in my life. It was easier to place the responsibility on them, to tell myself they were the problem. But the truth is, no one else can fix this. No one else can fill the emptiness inside me. I have to take ownership of my own healing.

Sitting With Pain Is Hard—But Necessary

Sitting with pain is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It feels counterintuitive in a world that constantly tells us to “move on,” “stay positive,” or “be strong.” But I’ve learned that true strength isn’t about pretending the pain doesn’t exist—it’s about facing it head-on. It’s about allowing yourself to feel, even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.

Grief isn’t something to fix or solve. It’s not a problem with a quick solution. It’s something to be felt, honored, and processed. It’s a process of breaking open and rebuilding, of letting go and learning to hold space for yourself.

If you’re walking through a season of grief, I want you to know that you’re not alone. So many of us carry wounds we’re afraid to face, voids we’re desperate to fill. But the truth is, healing starts from within. It’s about sitting with the discomfort, honoring your emotions, and allowing yourself to grow through the pain.

Finding Wholeness Within Yourself

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that no one else can make me feel whole. No relationship, no friendship, no external validation will ever fill the void in my heart. That’s my work to do. And while it’s terrifying to realize that the responsibility lies with me, it’s also liberating. Because it means I have the power to create the life I want—the love, the joy, the fulfillment I’ve been searching for.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s messy and nonlinear, filled with moments of doubt and setbacks. But it’s also a journey worth taking. Because in the emptiness, we can find room to grow. In the hurt, we can discover resilience. And in the process, we can learn to fill that void—not with things or people, but with love, purpose, and the fullness of who we are.

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Resources for Dealing with Grief

Grief can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Here are some resources that can provide support and guidance on your journey:

Books

1. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
   • A deep dive into how trauma and grief affect the body and mind, offering tools for healing and reclaiming your life.
2. Option B by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant
   • A powerful guide to building resilience and finding joy after loss.
3. The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James & Russell Friedman
   • Practical steps for moving through grief and healing your heart.
4. It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine
   • A compassionate approach to understanding grief and finding your own path forward.

Podcasts

1. Terrible, Thanks for Asking
   • Honest conversations about grief, loss, and how we navigate life’s hardest moments.
2. Griefcast
   • A podcast that explores how grief affects us, featuring interviews with those who have experienced loss.
3. What’s Your Grief Podcast
   • Insights and advice from grief experts to help you navigate your emotions.

Support Groups

• GriefShare: A network of support groups that meet in person and online to help you process grief in a compassionate, community-driven space.
  • Visit GriefShare
• The Compassionate Friends: A group focused on helping those grieving the loss of a child or sibling.
  • Visit The Compassionate Friends

Online Resources

• What’s Your Grief
  • Articles, tools, and courses for navigating grief in your own way.
  • Visit What’s Your Grief
• Psychology Today
  • Find a grief counselor near you to guide you through your healing journey.
  • Visit Psychology Today
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
  • For immediate emotional support, call 988 in the U.S.

Practical Tips

• Journal Your Thoughts: Writing can help you process emotions and make sense of your grief. If you’re new to journaling or want to make it a consistent habit, check out my post on Creating Journaling Habits That Stick.”
• Seek Spiritual Support: Prayer, scripture, or connecting with a faith community can provide comfort and hope.
• Move Your Body: Gentle exercise like walking or yoga can help ease emotional tension.

Remember, healing from grief is a process, and there’s no “right” way to do it. Take it one day at a time and seek help when you need it. You are not alone.

Moving Forward, Together

If this resonates with you, I want to remind you of one thing: you are not broken. You are not unworthy because you feel pain or grief. These feelings are a testament to your capacity to love, to care, and to feel deeply. They are not the end of your story—they are a chapter in your journey.

So, let’s stop running from our grief. Let’s sit with it, feel it, and learn from it. Let’s take ownership of our healing, knowing that it’s okay to ask for help, to move at our own pace, and to honor where we are right now. Together, we can find wholeness—not in spite of the pain, but because of it.

Have you been sitting with grief lately? I’d love to hear your story in the comments below. Let’s support each other on this journey. One step at a time, one feeling at a time, we’re moving closer to the healing we all deserve.