Self-Love in its Highest Form

Self-love is doing what you should do even when you do not want to do it. It is not about indulging in easy things that offer fleeting comfort. It is about having the discipline to do the things that make you better. It is about growth, even when facing discomfort. In fact, most growth faces discomfort. Therefore, self-discipline is the highest form of self-love. You MUST push yourself to evolve. If you want to love yourself more, you have to show up for yourself more. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. 

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

In this blog post, I want to share what I learned from the podcast episode “Things You NEED To Know About Self Love” from The Mindset Mentor. This episode really shifted my perspective on what self-love truly means. We often confuse self-love with indulgence or quick fixes, but the podcast taught me that it’s much deeper. It is rooted in discipline, growth, and self-respect.

What really stood out to me is how easy it is to reach for temporary comforts—whether it’s social media scrolling or unhealthy habits—as a way to avoid discomfort. However, these don’t solve the underlying issues and often leave us feeling more anxious and dissatisfied. Instead, true self-love involves doing the harder but more rewarding things that help us evolve. This post outlines some key takeaways from the episode and how they’ve helped me redefine my approach to self-care and personal growth.

Self-Love is Not Self-Indulgence

“Self-love is not about being self-indulgent; it’s about taking responsibility for our own well-being.” – Anonymous

In a fast-paced world where instant gratification is at our fingertips, many of us confuse self-love with self-indulgence. We often turn to quick fixes like scrolling on social media, binge-watching TV shows, or indulging in unhealthy snacks as a way to self-soothe. However, we do not know how to self-soothe as adults, so we turn to these temporary distractions that do not solve our underlying issues. They only provide momentary relief, leading to more dissatisfaction and anxiety in the long run. This is a form of emotional avoidance—a way to escape the real work we need to do on ourselves.

If these quick fixes aren’t what self-love looks like, what is?

What is Self-Love?

Self-love is about doing what truly serves you better, even when it’s not the easiest choice. It’s about taking care of yourself in ways that contribute to your long-term well-being rather than seeking fleeting comforts.

For example, instead of scrolling through your phone when you’re stressed, you could go for a run. Physical exercise has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to regulate your mood, release pent-up energy, and reduce feelings of stress and tension. The benefits go far beyond the immediate. It boosts your mental and physical health, leading to greater satisfaction in your day-to-day life.

Another powerful form of self-love is meditation. Meditation is not just a moment of peace; it’s a tool to get to your cool, calm, collected state. It helps you become more mindful and emotionally regulated, leading to greater self-awareness and better relationships. While it can be harder than turning to quick fixes, it brings real growth and healing over time.

At the core of self-love is how you treat yourself and speak to yourself. Sometimes, this involves practicing tough love. You have to be honest with yourself—no excuses, no shortcuts. Tough love is about doing what you know is right, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s about taking responsibility for your well-being and pushing yourself to grow, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Self-love is doing what you should do even when you do not want to do it. It is not about indulging in easy things that offer fleeting comfort. It is about having the discipline to do the things that make you better. It is about growth, even when facing discomfort. In fact, most growth faces discomfort. 

“Every time you make a commitment to your own self-care, self-love and self-respect and then follow through, you build trust in yourself.” – Miranda J. Barrett

You have to realize that in every single moment, there is always one person watching you in everything that you do, and that person is you. If you say that you are going to do something and then you do not do it, you start to lose confidence in yourself. You have to be able to prove it to yourself and rebuild that trust with yourself. Talk to yourself out loud about what you do, say it, and love it. 

Read more about self-love: Learning to Love Yourself

Self-Discipline is the Highest Form of Self-Love

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” – Abraham Lincoln

If you want to love yourself more, you must show up for yourself more. There’s no way around it. Self-discipline is the highest form of self-love because it requires you to push yourself toward growth and evolution. It’s easy to love yourself when everything feels good, but true self-love is about sticking with it even when things are tough.

Self-discipline is the highest form of self-love. You MUST push yourself to evolve. If you want to love yourself more, you have to show up for yourself more. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. 

If you can’t show up for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? Strong, healthy relationships—whether romantic, platonic, or professional—begin with the relationship you have with yourself. If you want to attract people who respect and care for you, you have to first show yourself that same respect and care. It all starts with you.

In the end, self-love is not about comfort. It’s about growth. And growth almost always comes with discomfort.

“Growth is uncomfortable because you’ve never been here before.” – Mandy Hale

By practicing discipline and committing to the things that serve your well-being, you’re showing yourself the ultimate form of love. When you prioritize your health, happiness, and personal growth, you build a strong foundation for everything else in life.

So, the next time you feel tempted to indulge in quick fixes, ask yourself—what would real self-love look like right now? Chances are, it’s the harder choice, but it’s the one that will lead you to a more fulfilled, balanced, and happy life.

- Authentically, AB