Learning How to Find Happiness

Become the Happy

Happiness is a misunderstood emotion that seems impossible to achieve. Whenever someone has asked me what I want to be when I am older, the first thought that comes to mind is, “I just want to be happy.” The problem with this, however, is I can’t just magically be happy one day. I could have the perfect life with my perfect family, my perfect house, and my perfect job, but I still wouldn’t be happy until I found happiness within.

While external factors can contribute to your happiness, relying solely on them can be risky. By finding happiness within yourself, you cultivate a strong foundation of well-being that can sustain you through life’s ups and downs. 

The Importance of Internal Happiness

Finding happiness within yourself is important for several reasons:

• Self-Reliance: Relying on external factors for your happiness, such as material possessions, relationships, or achievements, can be unreliable and fleeting. When you find happiness within yourself, you become less dependent on external circumstances to feel content and fulfilled.
• Empowerment: Discovering happiness within yourself empowers you to take control of your own well-being. You realize that you have the ability to create your own happiness, regardless of the situations or challenges you may face in life.
• Inner Stability: Happiness that comes from within is more stable and sustainable compared to relying on external sources. External circumstances are often beyond our control, but when you cultivate happiness internally, you develop resilience and the ability to maintain a positive mindset even during difficult times.
• Authenticity: When you find happiness within yourself, you tap into your authentic self. You no longer need to conform to societal expectations or seek validation from others to feel happy. Instead, you can embrace your true desires, values, and passions and live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
• Improved Relationships: When you are happy within yourself, you bring a sense of positivity, self-assurance, and contentment to your relationships. You become less reliant on others to make you happy, which can reduce expectations and allow for healthier and more balanced connections.
• Emotional Well-being: Happiness within yourself contributes to overall emotional well-being. It can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression and promote a greater sense of peace, satisfaction, and self-acceptance.

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A few years ago, my perspective on life was this:

“Life is made up of sad and lonely days filled with small moments of happiness, but that happiness isn’t even real happiness. It is just fleeting moments of laughter or smiles.” 

My sadness, loneliness, emptiness, and numbness consumed me so badly that I could not even imagine just being happy; I didn’t even know what true happiness felt like. Looking back, I realize I had it backward because happiness is so much more than just an emotion; it’s a state of mind. 

Happiness is choosing to look for the good in every situation and appreciating the things you have to be grateful for despite the sad moments in life. Happiness can only come from yourself because placing your happiness in the hands of another person, never ends up well; I learned this one the hard way.

How to Find Internal Happiness

These are some of the actions I took and continue to take to become my own happy:

• Expressing gratitude
• Shifting my perspective
  • Instead of being upset about life’s challenges, I look for the lessons and experiences I learn from them
• Rewarding myself when I complete a difficult task, pass an exam, etc.
• Partaking in hobbies
• Basking in the sun
• Self-care

It’s honestly all about what works for you. It’s about what makes YOU happy, so look for the joy in your life. Take note of what makes you happy, and do more of it. Only you have the power to become your own source of happiness.

- Authentically, AB