Breaking the Cycle of Avoidance: The Journey to Freedom

For the longest time, I thought breaking the cycle of avoidance was something I could delay. I sought external validation, convinced it could solve my problems. I believed that if I just found the right person, job, or distraction, everything would magically fall into place. Instead, my problems quietly accumulated, stacking up like an unorganized closet I refused to open.

Every time I tried to step off this self-defeating carousel, a shiny new distraction lured me back into the cycle. And I convinced myself that these distractions were meant for me, that they were stepping stones to something better. I was wrong. They weren’t solutions; they were escapes.

The problem wasn’t external—it was within me. I had to face the truth: no one can save me from myself. Life doesn’t work that way. It’s my responsibility to dig deep, confront my issues, and do the hard work to change. For too long, I avoided that work, hoping someone or something else would carry the weight. I became lazy, stuck, and unmotivated, which only deepened my struggles.

Here I am today, staring at the same issues I had months ago. Why? Because I ran. I distracted myself. I poured my energy into obsessions, thinking they’d drown out the noise. But patterns don’t just break on their own, and bad habits don’t simply fade away.

The most humbling realization? This cycle is my own doing. But that’s also the empowering part. Recognizing the problem is the first step toward fixing it. I can’t change the past, but I can stop running. I can take responsibility for my life, face my fears, and trust that the path set for me—though difficult—will lead to something far greater than distraction ever could.

Relatable Takeaway:

If you’ve been caught in the same cycle of avoidance, remind yourself that running only delays the inevitable. You’ll always meet yourself where you left off. The journey toward healing and growth may feel daunting, but the moment you decide to face your problems head-on, you take the first step toward freedom. Trust that you’re capable, even when it’s hard, because the life you want starts with you.

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Resources to Break the Cycle of Avoidance:

Books

1. Atomic Habits by James Clear
   • Learn how to create lasting change by breaking bad habits and building better ones. Perfect for tackling avoidance behaviors.
2. The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest
   • Explores self-sabotage and how to overcome it to unlock your true potential.
3. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
   • A guide to embracing vulnerability and courageously facing life’s challenges instead of avoiding them.
4. Deep Work by Cal Newport
   • Focuses on overcoming distractions and building meaningful habits to break the cycle of procrastination.
5. Untamed by Glennon Doyle
   • Encourages self-discovery and letting go of the expectations that keep you stuck in avoidance patterns.

Podcasts

1. The Mindset Mentor by Rob Dial
   • Offers practical advice for overcoming procrastination, breaking bad habits, and taking charge of your life.
   • A favorite of mine!
2. The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes
   • Features inspiring stories and interviews that focus on growth, resilience, and facing life’s challenges.
3. Unlocking Us by Brené Brown
   • Explores vulnerability, self-awareness, and personal transformation, which are crucial to breaking cycles of avoidance.
4. On Purpose by Jay Shetty
   • Discusses mindfulness, intentional living, and breaking through mental blocks.
5. Better Than Yesterday by Osher Günsberg
   • Focuses on self-improvement and creating actionable steps to overcome stagnation.

Journaling Tools

1. The Five Minute Journal
   • A structured journal that focuses on gratitude and setting daily intentions, helping you stay grounded and motivated.
2. Journey App
   • A digital journaling tool that encourages reflection and tracking emotional patterns, helping you identify cycles of avoidance.
3. Notion (Customized Templates)
   • Create your own journaling templates for habit tracking, problem-solving, and reflecting on progress.
4. Day One
   • A journaling app that lets you document your thoughts and experiences, providing clarity and accountability.
5. Prompted Journals
   • Use guided prompts like:
     • “What have I been avoiding, and why?”
     • “What distractions have I used to escape my problems?”
     • “What steps can I take today to confront my challenges head-on?”

* Journaling can be a powerful tool to uncover the patterns that keep you stuck in avoidance. By writing down your thoughts and emotions, you create a space for self-reflection and clarity. If you’re new to journaling or want to make it a consistent habit, check out my post on Creating Journaling Habits That Stick.